Fauxgue Magazine Interview, December 2007:
Steve arrived for the interview casually attired in jeans, white t-shirt, and thongs. His face was freshly scrubbed except for a little eyeliner - "for the camera"
FM: Welcome, Steve. Steve it would appear from your name, your name being Steve, that you are of the male gender. Is this a correct assumption, Steve?
SP: Very astute. Yes, I am a man. A fine American man. I am a man, hear me roar.
FM: Steve, you are a fine musician. You, no doubt, would have an opinion on the music of other fine artists. What song thrills you to your very core when you hear it on the radio?
SP: Oh, that's easy. It's C'mon, Get Happy by The Partridge Family. It gets me every time. Those keyboards, you know...
It must have been pleasing to you, then , when you were asked to write a comeback song for David Cassidy?SP:
You're not wrong there. If the truth be told I was chuffed about it and if you watch my DVD -Live at the Basement
- you will hear what happened when I went to meet Mr Cassidy. Ah, his face wouldn't have moved enough to let the words of my song out in any case. He would have had to hum it and the song would have been nowhere near as effective and touching as it should be.FM:
It is rumoured that Neil Young was quite a fan of your Answering Machine CD and that when you had a chance to meet him you made...how can I put it....a bit of an ass of yourself. Steve - it's on your website;you can't deny it.SP:
What do you mean "bit of an ass"? I'll have you know, Miss, that I made Quite An Ass of myself. Please conduct your research in a more professional fashion (flicking hair)
Poltz Interview Part II
FM: Sorry, Mr Steve. Back to Neil. Do you think you could take him in a fight ?
SP: Why did I agree to this interview?
FM: One word for you, Stevie Joe, and that is CASH. Admit that you needed the $$. You didn't get enough for your music being used in the Jeep commercial and in the American version of The Office. Not enough royalties for You Were Meant For Me. You need the cash.
SP:Well, you've got me there. It's true that even Talented and Clever People have to eat, run a car (Jeep, must be a Jeep), and go shopping for clothes and cosmetics. All those activities that the plebeians partake in, so must we. And those activities require funds.
FM: A serious question for you now. If you had to choose between eating a hotdog made from a real dog or listening to the solo recordings of David Cassidy, which would it be?
SP: Is it a dachshund?
FM: Steve, what song makes you sick to the stomach when you hear it?
SP: Ah, lass, that would be I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston. It brings to the surface all the profound feelings of loneliness that all artistes have to suppress in order to be able to function in society -the sensitivity that we feel. This song cuts me to the quick and it is for that reason, and that reason alone, that I change the radio station when I hear it begin. Some people might change the station because they think the song is shite, but my reasons run much, much deeper than that. Poltz = profundity.
FM: Mr Poltz, if you look to the right - yes, there on the sidetable -you will find a box of tissues. You will shortly be visiting Australia. What can the audience expect?
SP: Singing and geetar playin'
FM: Funny stories?
SP: I'm a funny man
FM: Flogging of new CDs?
SP:Why waste the opportunity to flog them, I say
I daresay the dates can be found here
SP: They'd better be there or Heads Will Roll!
FM: One last question for you.
Victor Hugo said: Forty is the old-age of youth;fifty is the youth of old age.
What is your opinion on aging in general?
SP: I think that's a question for Joan van Ark
FM: Thank you for your time, Mr Poltz
SP: Cheque will be fine.
Labels: to be continued due to thunder storm, when poltz let his guard down